SinistraJoined: October 31, 2003Status: OfflinePosts: 2531Rep:
Compilation of this story... Mon Aug 15, 2005 1:37:58 PM#12687Perm Link
There was a super intelligent monkey that was not happy about the new tax raise. So then he posted on ASELabs that he was going to die a horrible death. He asked them what to do. Aron answered him,
"You should go to the man with the big flowery apron on. He will give you some nice big blue balls that will grow into a beautiful plant that eats cute little kitties.”
So, anyways... The man continued to wonder why potatoes and carrots always have hot wives and cousins that are evil clones of their grandfathers that smoke huge crack pipes and cough up loogies of terror that will destroy all the radioactive monkeys. Afraid, he staggered into a massive pit of depression. Aron told him to sniff cocaine to forget where he hid his tax money. But he remembered to unload his bag of money from the trunk for his taxes. He went to the local bank and he brought his awesome katana and sold it. So he bought a new katana and chopped someone’s broccoli for them. Then he made some obnoxious sounds using his hands but afterwards he went to hell. The devil liked the guy’s mustache and became good friends with him. He decided to take some acid with him when he went back to the bank and told them the money was counterfeit. So they called his mother’s friend who was on the other line. Then exploding refrigerators ate some chilled nail polish remover with soy sauce, which had some anthrax mixed in. The fridges roared like Godzilla, then cowered in fear. By that time the flying spatulas hit the monkey with huge hairy soccer balls. Then huge radios started killing themselves over car keys from people in Iraq. The Lone Wolf came to destroy the remains of Jack the Ripper, who was said to once have a very strong body odor that smelled something like rotten dead monkeys. Tired of the dead monkey smell, Jack the Ripper got air freshener and sprayed me in the eyes, then started to fell bad. So sorry that he sprayed me again, saying:
“Die you uncaring son of a whoring gerbil that has a disturbing mole on her nose that looks like guacaMOLE!”
Suddenly another monkey jumped up his nostril and died from really nasty looking infected mucous that kept growing and growing until it exploded! Then the world paused and before everyone took flight they began crying because this story when to shit, similarly as the youth corrupted themselves with Grand Theft Auto(which cost them five I.Q. points which they needed)...