the diary of saffron white- a detailed account of her life thus far.

november 13th- age 5.

i got this diary today...it's my birthday you see... and mother told me to write all sorts of things in it... so i will!

december 25th- age 5

it's christmas today,everywhere looks really nice.
the trees where really pretty!
they were all spray painted white and then had gold boa thingies on them! ( bear in mind she's 5 at this stage- her vocabulary is... not very big XD )

i got what i asked for- that new hobby horse! ( a hobby horse is like a horses head on a stick with little wheels at the end of the stick. it's like your pretending your riding a real horse XD )
but then alice started to brag about her new toys to erin.... so i ended up pulling her hair!

mother told me off for it and i wasn't allowed to pull a cracker with father- he always lets me win!- which made me quite sad...

october 1st-age 8

i'm sick of it!
i just got told off by mother for breaking someones arm!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

it all started like this.

i was minding my own buisness, my hobby horse in hand- i had discovered at the age of 6 that is was a good weapon to use, almost like a hammmer and it kept the boys away from my sisters and i.- when one of mothers servents comes up and tells me i have to go inside!
the nerve of him!
i told him i didn't want to go, that i'd rather stay out here and listen to the birds sing.
he kept protesting and saying i had to go inside!

then he did something i didn't expect.
he grabbed my arm and yanked me up from the edge of the fountin i usually sit on and started to drag me indoors.

i soon sorted him out!
i took my hobby horse and whacked him on the arm with it three times till he let me go, but by this point i had run off down the garden away from him.

mother later called me back saying i'd broken the 'poor' mans arm!

i am apparently to be sent to my aunts as punishment.... i've never been to aunty redds before.

i've seen her often at family gatherings, there was a boy there about my age with her last time... maybe he was her son and i just didn't know about him...

well i'd best go to sleep, father said i had to study first thing in the morning.

i'll be sent to aunty redds next month.


( thought i'd try something differant |D )

maybe I will do one for alice lol, if her mom wanted saffron to do it, she probably asked the other kids to do it, right?)

( yup but i beleive saffron will be the only one to kill someone～ XD )

(lol, but I had a great idea for alice that will make hers a bit more excited then some normal girls love diary)

( XD just wait till you see the rest of saffrons :'D )

( i might add to it throughout the rp aswell, to indicate what she really thinks and feels at certain points ^_^ )

november 4th- age 8

i'm at aunty redds now....
she's nicer than mother sometimes... unless i've been near that boy...then she gets really mad.
i'd like to meet him though, it's boring being on my own here.

no doubt erins started crying over me not being at home. and i won't be at home for at least another two weeks...
alice is probably trying to cheer her up...but it won't work out well, seeing as erins only 6 and doesn't really get much of alice's sense of humor.

not that anyone does.

i must go now, aunty says she has something she'd like to show me...

november 13th- age 8

HE SPOKE TO ME!
the boy i'd seen a few times before came up and talked to me today!
he gave me a present too!

it was the most beautiful gift i'd ever gotten from a boy!
it was a little bird - a robin i think!- carved out of wood with a rose upon it's head.
it was made out of white wood too... the rose was black though which made me a little worried...
i asked about his name and he told me it was chesshire.

got to go now, aunty has a present for me too!

26th november- age 8

i've become good friends with chessh!
we go on lots of adventures around the castle!
he's even showed me secret passageways in the castle.
he's got cat ears and a tail, but i don't find them odd!
dr.march has the ears of a hare after all~

there was a cat that came into my room and slept at the edge of my bed yesterday... i think it likes me, although i've never seen it before...

july 12th- age 14

I CAN'T BELEIVE IT!
I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!!
AND AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!!

today i know why i've not seen that cat around my aunts castle so much!
i had been sent over for two weeks- i'd caused 7 fights in the last 4 days and sent 5 people home with broken limbs and/or bloody noses.-

anyway, over the years chessh and i have sort of grown apart, he working for my aunt and i having to do things expected of the next in line to be queen- like learning how to walk correctly and all of that idiocy!-

i had just come from a lesson with my aunt - she said i lacked dicipline and decided to take matters into her own hands....- when i spotted that cat down the hallway again, it didn't see me as it turned the corner.

i went after it and what did i see?

THE BLOODY THING TURNING INTO CHESSH!

so ofcourse i naturally, walked up to him and slapped him straight accross the face!
he yelled at me to ask what that was for.... so i yelled back.

i yelled at him for having dared to transform into that cat and sleep in my room every night i had come over to stay at my aunts!
i yelled at him for daring to stay in the room as i got changed into my night clothes! ( he apologised quickly for that one.....)
and i told him he was an idiotic pompous ass who needed to stop lying to those who cared about him!

i stormed off shortly after....

can't write anymore as i'm off to make sure my door is sealed shut!

november 13th- age 15

i've forgiven him!
i've completly and utterly forgiven him!
oh you should have seen what he gave me for my birthday!

it's this lovley necklace, with a pure clear heart shaped crystal hanging from it.

he even put it on me himself... it felt weird... maybe it was the crystal being so cold on my skin but....
it's just odd that we're older now....

must go- chessh said he had once more gift for me before i left to go back home - i was only staying over for a week because aunty wanted to celebrate my birthday with me.
sometimes i like her better than mother....

october 31st- age 16

what have i done.......

i don't even know who i am anymore.....

i...i killed someone today....
they approaced my sisters!
i couldn't stop myself!

it was a man, he had a knife in his hand!
i couldn't just stand there!
i ran over and went to hit him with my hobby horse- i'd modifiyed it to look quite terrifiying ....- when suddenly it becomes a scythe and....it completly cutt his head off.....

right in front of my sisters...
there was so much blood everywhere...

on me...

on my own hands...

I HAD KILLED A MAN!

november 2nd- age 16

i'm at aunt redds again....my mother offered to talk about it...about...the incident...

but i just can't do it!
i need time alone!

my house doesn't feel like a home anymore...
so many people...watching...waiting...

they think i'll turn bad...

like aunt redd...

but she's not bad!
SHE'S JUST MISSUNDERSTOOD!!!

i sit here crying now, clutching at the necklace chessh gave me for some support....

oh..theres someone here...
oh it's just chessh...


i've got to go now...
it seems chessh has come to talk to me about whats happened...
i'll tell him...
i'll tell him everything....

including how alive i felt when i killed him...

that man who threatened my sisters.

( oooh creppy >D I like, but Chessh is more indifferent! He show little interest in stuff like that x| )

( i know～ but imagine if you were in her position! XD )

( lmaoo okayy, I have to go now, hopefully I can come and read up before my day ends.)

( i'm a very disturbing girl no? XD this is why i wrote it in this form.... because if i wrote it int a reall sortylike form...i'd get carried away |D )

january 3rd- age 17

i've been learning how to ride it... that beast they keep in the dungeons on the other side of the castle...

it's called a bandersnatch...
mother has been teaching me... she says it's important.. that i'm the only one who will learn how...

i beleive her...sort of....

he's quite tame towards me, i think he likes me better than mother....

although aunty has one at her castle too... he's more vicious...
i like him better, aunty lets me ride him sometimes.

i call him boris....
he snaps at the servents and often attacks them if i'm not controlling him properly...

but i'm always controlling him...
i've grown to liking hurting others and watching them bleed....
i'm rather fond of the twins that my aunt employed a while ago, they understand me... not like my sisters... they don't get the thrill i feel when i hear them screaming for mercy...

they say a human head can still see hear and talk for 30 seconds when removed from the body...
i gauge their eyes out and then listen to their dying screams....

aunty gave me another scythe two months ago... it's prettier than my old one.

it's got a rose on it.

a black rose.

i'm no longer impressed with my mother, she's weak!

THEY ALL ARE!

or maybe i'm just too strong?

my first scythe is still in the form of a hobby horse- not only can i bash people in the skulls but i can then completly sever their heads!

i must go.... i'm off to test how i weild my weapons against chessh...
he's an assassin now.

i seem to be staying at my aunts more often.

mother just seems to think it's because i've finnally made friends my own age there...

if only she knew......

( almost had a heart attack cause i wrote all of that out- on my wii and then it said " you need to be logged in! " O_O

so i log in and then go back to the page where i'd typed it all in- the text still there.
and it worked when i posted )

(now we just need erins diary, then he have the full story from every angle)

(DX i'm realy bad at writing though)

(it's ok)

(oh fine but i can't do it now i'm on my wii and its kinda hard to write with a wii mote)

february 7th- age 17

i saw alice with pierce today- my mothers bandersnatch- i was furious!
i'm the only one who should know about them!
mother promised!

aunt redd did always say she broke her promises when they were children...

i yelled at her for being near him and told her to go away....

pierce roared at me shortly, but i was used to it.
it meant he was asking if was to be taking him for a ride.
i nodded, the beast running over, i stared at my sister coldly and climbed onto pierce.
i turned my head away from her and began to ride off... i didn't look back once at her...

i can't anymore.

i've killed so many, injured thousands...

and they expect me to let go of this feeling that i have every time i do?!

i feel alive!

pierce may not be as wild as boris but i'm training him...
my mother may like her creatures weaker than her people... but thats just another form of cruelty to the beast!

she's not allowed it to act upon it's wild urges!
she's domesticated it so much even my sister can feed it!

well i've slowly trained him to love the taste of blood...

it's taken a while but the results were worth it!

i plan on keeping it to myself however...

i've got to go now, i'm spending a month at home- aunt redds house is my real home now...- chessh says he has a new technique to show me... i'm getting better with my other scythe....

and aunt redd says she has something for me to do.....

march 10th- 17

i was riding boris into the castle today, i was going to pit them against eachother, to see if it would make pierce learn quicker...

i arrive and see alice trying to get onto pierce....

he was going wild trying to get her off!
it seems that a bandersnatch will only accept a rider if it's previous one or current rider allows it...

neither i nor my mother has allowed alice to ride pierce....

it's no wonder.

i called pierce once and he stopped.
i got down from boris walked over, yanked my sister off of pierce and slapped her.

i yelled again at her... i was furious!
HOW DARE SHE TRY TO RIDE HIM IN SECRET!

i told her that she was an idiot and that it was too dangerous to try without it's riders permission and that if i hadn't been there something horrible would've happened!

i soon got back on boris, petting him gently and motioned for boris to follow.

we went to a large clearing in the forest.

the sceneary was nice sure but i was here on buisness....

i got off of boris and comanded them both to fight without brutally damaging the other, pierce stared at me for a second before recieveing a blod to his muzzle.

by the end of the battle pierce was worn out.

he had enough energy for the walk home....

i made sure a servent would bring him a larger portion of food than usual....

it seems boris is keen on pierce and so i left him in the stable with him.

it seems they have a student teacher bond.... maybe it won't be long till pierce is ruthless enough as i want...no NEED him to be....

i've to go now.... i'm growing quite tired.

april 14th- age 17

i've been training pierce for a while now... he's improved greatly!

however... i know my sister knows about me training him....

she can't keep quiet enough....
she's still too weak!

but i digress~ after all she's never felt the thrill i have.

the exhilaration i've felt when i kill or work with such beasts....

i know she's constantly watching me... i don't really care what she thinks of me!

it will all be better soon!
i'll be at aunt redds again....
and i'll get that cat back for what he did last week!

i think alice is also suspicious about this...

i must be going now..... i'm thinking of ways to get chessh back...
maybe i'll ask to borrow dee's whip and use it on him.... afterall they are used to tame big cats~!

december 19th- age 14 ( lost entry )

something odd happened today....
something i can only write about....

my aunt, as a late birthday and early christmas present got me a mirror.....

not just any mirror...

a black framed mirror.

i'm scared.... my aunt thinks it should belong to me, that i can use it to get in touch with her if need be...

but i can still use normal means od transport to get there... what does it mean?

december 25th- age 16 ( lost entry)

it's christmas...
i recceived nice things sure...

but it's not what i'm writing about.

i galice a sword for christmas... i don't think she knows it was me who bought it for her...

i hope this will help her grow stronger... and understand me a little better...

i'm quite power hungry now.... my kill two months ago awoke me properly....

oh and i've something else to tell you too!

in the past i've used the mirror my aunt gave me at least 3 times, just because i was sometimes bored on my own- no one saw me, i keep my door shut and locked and my windows the same- however reccently.... after the incident.....

i've used it alot....
as soon as i got it aunt redd told me to paint it's frame gold.... so as not to scare anyone or arouse suspicion....

i know what she means now....
somehow this mirror is enchanted by my aunt to only rveal her castle to myself, anyone else who uses it just gets that of my mothers domain.

must go now.... i'm late for a lesson on punishment from the twins.... i'm using the mirror of course- no one knows i sneak out.

it should be fun~

april 26th- age 10 ( lost entry)

i came over to aunty redds today...
it wasn't like normals...

chessh ran up to me and hid behind me- muttering about some pychopaths.....

two girls ran out from the direction he had come in- twins i think- they seemed to be looking for him but then laid their eyes upon me....

they introduced themselves as dee and dum and linked arms with mine telling me they were my aunts new serving maids....

i didn't know how chessh could call them such a name! i mean honestly! their lovely!

i was sent here because mother said aunt redd could teach me things my mother couldn't- like walking straight .... mother never seemed to be able to do that-

both erin and alice had begged to come with me- neither did though....
i love them both but....i don't want to share this with them- we're always sharing... i want to be selfish and have something of my own for once.

i'm going now, chessh is knocking at my door rapidly screaming to be let in because dee and dum were coming after him...again....

i honestly don't know whats going on with him!

april 29th- age 10 (lost entry)

I KNOW WHY HE'S BEEN FREAKING OUT!

and i don't blame him one bit!

one of the twins whipped me the other day! it hurt to.... but she giggled like it was a fun game...
it seems that dee likes to give pain and dum to recceive it....

i asked aunty about it and she laughed....

not at me but at the expression on my face.

she told me that they were what people called a sadist - dee - and a masochist - dum - .

i have been a little scared of them since then....

but it can't get worse....can it?

may 6th - age 10

i came home today, i was covered in cruises, cutts and scars.
mother fussed over me, but i didn't mind.

aunty redd says i'm getting stronger and that i'll be ready soon....

i don't know what for though....

erin cried when she saw, she thought i was going to die or that i was in so much pain that i ought to lie down!

i told her i was fine and even ran around playing hide and seek with her and alice to prove my point.

got to go now, mother said i need to take a back to clean out any dirt that might be in my wounds....

( dripps of blood can be found on this page due to small open wounds on her hand from being at her aunts- they had closed but opened again at the movement of her writing)

december 25th - age 16 ( lost entry )

i'm not spending christmas with my sisters this year, as i'd love to spend it with my aunt and my friends.

which is why i'm here.
in my aunts castle- my second home... although at this rate it's become my first....

the twins and i made a snowman... and then chessh knocked it down....

we soon sent him running~

only to hide behind a snow wall and throw snowballs at us...
and here i thought cats hated being wet and cold!

naturally we joined in with him, we were all having fun too...

and then dee sneakily made her way over and whipped him...

he went inside sulking and complaining.

we re-built the snowman and then made snowangels, it was so nice to feel wanted by people who arn't my family or just because i'm the next in line to be the queen!

we all exchanged gifts, i had given dee a pair of handcuffs for her....toy collection....
i gave dum a set of the best medical kits avaliable - she got hurt often....- and a new knife as the old one was looking rusty.

and i gave chessh a few books- he liked to read often- and a blanket as i knew he fell asleep in odd places....

i ended up giving him something else....

i won't write about it though....

ok so maybe i will...

i was standing talking to chessh when dee and dum suddenly gasp loudly.

i asked what what wrong and they just pointed above us....

mistletoe...

it was hanging from the ceiling- it hadn't been there before... those sneaky twins! i'll get them back on boxing day, by acctually hitting them with my fist~!

and the twins made a big deal about it too!

chessh just sort of rolled his eyes and kissed me quickly to shut them up....

i don't know what to bloody say about it!

it was my first after all!

and later that day, aunt redd pulled me aside, congratulated me for.... whatever it was i did that the twins were talking about so proudly...

and then did the oddest thing...
she hugged me and then said " i know your mothers been neglecting you... if need be i'll be your mother...." i'm not sure what she meant but she said i can call her mother if i wanted....

it made me smile...

going now because i have a feeling that dee and dum will try to get me slightly drunk....

december 26th- age 16 (lost entry)

i really did hit the twins~

but thats not what i'm writing about!

i went back home today, my family greeted me at the gate.

my mother just sort of smiled at me but dad was looking at me intensely.

he then asked me randomly who i'd kissed!

i stammered out the word nothing and erin gasped, pointing at me saying i was lying as i was turning red!

i walked off quickly, trying to hide my face....

somehow fathers know when their daughters have been with a boy, doing just about anything....
even when your 5 years old and just making a jigsaw puzzle with a boy....

i swear the day i came home with my necklace he said he'd kill chessh....

mother told me it was something all fathers did and that i shouldn't worry about it....

well i'll be off now.... my heads killing me...

january 10th - age 17 (lost entry)

i went to aunt redds for the weekend and on the last day....

aunt redd had said she had a gift for me.

when i arrived in her throne room she held out a box to me...

inside i found the most beautiful dress i'd ever seen!

she asked me to try it on and so i went to my room in the castle- putting it on instantly.

i walked back into the throne room with such pride...

she said i looked beautifull.... and that if i were truly her daughter then she'd buy me so many wonderfull outfits....

i let it slip...

one word that meant to much...

mother.

she's been such a good one to me, better than my own really...

she had looked like she was about to cry when i said it...

she was so happy...

she even said i would be able to take her place as queen when she decided she was no longer fit for the throne.

i instead told her that once i was queen of my mothers kingdom- my real mother that is- i would join the two lands together...

she hugged me and kissed my forehead at this saying i was the savouir of us all and that my sisters would have had us doomed if they were in charge...
it stung a little to hear them talk about them like that but she was right...

erin didn't have the mental stability to be a queen- she was so emotional... i thought she was going to break on many occasions- and alice....

she's not strong enough as it is...

i don't care if she'd being trained by hatter...

he's never had the thrill i've felt and so would be a poor teacher...

now if only i could get my hands on my sisters long enough to teach them the real ways of battle...

but they'd be scared of course... which is why i've never since the day i killed someone, let them come with me when i go there...
to my real home.... with dee and dum, chessh and my aunt....

and not forgetting boris~

when i came back to my mothers castle - i can't call it home anymore... it just feels weird- i was wearing the dress...

peoples reactions were VERY noticable... like the boys... they kept staring...

my sisters reactions.... i'm not sure of them...

i wonder what they think of the dress....

going now, i promised pierce as soon as i got back that i'd rake him out for a ride.

( type in :
alice madness returns royal suit dress to see the dress i picked ;D )

( thanks～ i'll delete the one in yours XD
can you tell i'm tired? )

(what time is it over there?)

(like half one in the morning ¦D )

january 27th- age 17 (lost entry)

i spoke up at the dinner table today- i knew that my mother was planning! and i'm not happy about it!- in front of my sisters too....

i told my mother that i would not be leaving the castle permanently to live with my aunt, who made me feel more welcomed there!

i also told her that when i was crowned queen i would join the two lands together and be done with the silly games they caled a war!

that i would make a peace treaty with my aunt beforehand and then work towards my goal!

and that she could stop going behind my back because i knew what was going on already!

mother was shocked.....

her eyes then became so tearfull, i thought i'd acctually upsett her....

but then she beamed so proudly at me and said " i knew you were going to be frightening when you got older but i never knew i'd be saying goodbye to my baby and hello to the new ruler of this kingdom....
you make me so proud! your determination is fierce, no wonder you spend time at your aunts! i never should've doubted you...." she cried still and i got up and hugged her.... it felt nice to finnally be praised by her and not told off for doing something wrong that i think i started to cry too....

i will do as i say, mark my words!

i will end this war!